The Health and Life Mixing Bowl

Life Enrichment via Telephone

The Health and Life Mixing Bowl is proud to introduce a series of free life enrichment tele-classes to nourish the body, mind and soul!  The classes will take place the second Wednesday of each month at 8:00 PM EST.  Click here for the spring schedule.

Our preview tele-class held a few weeks ago was a huge success.  It was great fun and a wonderful learning experience for everyone.  If you participated, thank you!

To all my regular readers and blogging buddies, it would be an honor to hear your voice on one of these calls! 

Registration information is at the link above.   

Will The Real You Please Stand Up

What fills you up?

What nourishes you?

What makes your heart sing?

These are questions we often don't ask ourselves.  With respect to self-improvement, these questions often get ignored.  So many of us jump on the self-improvement bandwagon with little thought about what we really want and what is important to us.  Knowing what is truly meaningful starts with knowing who you truly are.  So who are you? Let's start with what you know: You were born in a certain place on an exact date and time.  You have a gender, ethnicity and unique genetic makeup. You were given a name as a means of identification. You might have a "personal brand" built around your family, environment and circumstances.  You probably have a strong identity associated with your career, life roles and responsibilities.  But who are you, really?  What are your innate strengths, weaknesses, talents, and abilities?  What is your temperament?  What are your preferences?  What kinds of environments do you thrive in?  What are your must haves? What makes you tick? How do you operate in the world?  What is the essence of you?  What would you do if you had full permission to just be you?

Searching for your true self can get a little tricky.  Many times, we create tastes and preferences to avoid something that is hard to be with.  We might believe that we prefer independence because we are afraid to collaborate.  We might make up that we are not a risk taker because we fear how others might view our choices.  So asking and answering the question, "who are you really?" is a bold and radical move. 

Read through the list below.  What terms resonate with you?  Keep in mind; this isn't a wish list, but a few things that might represent your true self.

Fun

Partnership

Service

Contribution

Excellence

Recognition

Harmony

Accomplishment

Orderliness

Honesty

Adventure

Tradition

Growth

Collaboration

Personal Power

Connectedness

Spirituality

Integrity

Creativity

Independence

Nurturing

Joy

Beauty

Risk Taking

Peace

Elegance

Trust

Where did you see yourself on the list? 

Here is the tie-in to self improvement:  There can only be one master; it's either going to be your way or the way it "should" be done.  The one-size-fits-all approach espoused by many self-improvement programs is a good example of a "should".  That said, there are always non-negotiables when it comes to certain outcomes. In order to lose weight, you must take in fewer calories than you expend (or visa versa) but how could you develop a signature method for reaching this goal?  In other words, what would make this goal really attractive and compelling for you?  How can quitting smoking, losing weight or becoming spiritually connected revolve around a plan that considers your values? If fun, independence and adventure resonate with you, how could these values be honored in a self- improvement plan?   

Thoughtful reflection:  Are my goals serving me or am I serving them?

Honor who you are and watch your life soar.

Doing Nothing: A Prerequisite for Personal Change

I have been contemplating where this blog is going this month.  As a life coach who works in the area of health improvement, my passion lies in supporting people in honoring their deepest commitments to health, fitness and wellness.  This journey began after many years of working with people who were very ill due to their lifestyle.  Over the years, I have counseled heavy smokers, diabetic amputees and, morbidly obese men and women.   I have watched people suffer and die needlessly.  I have witnessed first-hand deep despair, hopelessness and self-defeat.  All of this has piqued my interest in trying to better understand the complex process of behavior change. 

What stops someone who has been given a death sentence from making lifestyle changes? 

What makes the process easy for others?   

For the next few weeks, The Health and Life Mixing Bowl will explore the mysterious journey of personal change.  But before we get started, read this comment on the post Will Your Resolutions Last Until February on the Well blog at The New York Times: 

"According to Taoism and Chinese Medicine, the winter is a time of inner reflection and rest. It is a time when Qi is moving inward, and of stillness. It is not a good time to make changes.  Spring, however, is the time of new growth, of expansive energy and of new beginnings. It is a great time to make changes.  If you try to change too much in the winter, you are fighting against the natural inertia, and you are likely to lose and–what’s worse–feel bad about yourself for having done so.  So… for now, think about what changes you want to make, meditate on how you might manifest them, visualize your new life, and then come March or April, grab hold of that upward-moving Qi and make your changes more easily."

— Posted by Joanna Linden

This comment really resonated with me.  Perhaps this is a good time to be prayerful, reflective and meditative about changes we want to make in the spring. 

During the months of January and February, tune in for posts and resources that will empower your spring "doing".  There will be no where to go, no "to do" list to check off and no plan to follow.  We will simply hibernate and be.  Sound like a deal?  Stick around. 

New Year's Resolutions: A Set Up for a Setback?

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstances permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results." -- Art Turock

I am not a fan of New Year's resolutions.  According to a telephone study conducted by Opinion Research Corporation , more than 75% of U.S. adults, 18 years and older, plan to make one or more New Year's resolutions for 2008. This is despite the fact that, of those who made resolutions for 2007, more than half failed to keep them.  Top resolutions that people made and failed at in 2007 include:

Increase exercise - 51% failed

Eat healthier - 58% failed

Save money - 52% failed

Spend more time with family - 57% failed

Enjoy leisure - 54% failed

There has to be a better conduit for personal change.  Perhaps there is a catch to this whole resolution thing. 

Webster's dictionary defines the word "resolve" as, "the state of reaching a firm decision or a declaration.  Decide.  Declare.  Denounce."  Sounds impressive, but where is the word "commit"?  Where is the part where we act deliberately and intentionally to reach our goals?   

Take a minute and compare last year's resolutions to soulful commitments you have made in the past.  Notice the energy, motivation and drive attached to each.  How was each goal different?  Which became lackluster after a few weeks or months?  Which continue to live today?  Commitment gives goals sticking power.  Perhaps it is a heightened sense of accountability or the desire to preserve personal integrity, but commitments make things real.  Resolve without commitment is like putting the cart before the horse. 

This year, do not let your "resolve" set you up for a setback. Commit to personal change and watch things really take off.  Here are five big payoffs:

You will expect nothing less than success.  Making a resolution is like making a choice.  When you make a choice, you can always change your mind, take a different course of action or find a way out.  Naturally, the degree to which you expect success will remain small.  Making a commitment is like taking a pledge.  A commitment means that the stakes are higher.  Take, for example, the popular New Year's resolution to lose weight.  Thinking small about weight loss can keep thoughts of failure alive.  If you expect your weight loss efforts to be derailed, they will be.  If you expect to stay on track, you will get much more in return.  Commitments keep hope alive, create room for success and set you up for permanent change. 

You will strive for something meaningful and significant.  Most of us commit to worthwhile endeavors.  So the question becomes, what goal is worthy of your time, money and energy?  For example, why start exercising this year?  After all, fitting exercise into a busy schedule can be a major inconvenience.  You might have to put out some extra cash, give up other enjoyable tasks and expend energy you don't think you have.  What will you have in return and what is meaningful about that?  Reaching a smaller clothes size is a great motivator, but for the long haul, the payoff has to be much bigger. What is that for you?  As a short distance runner, I have developed a personally compelling case for running, even in inclement weather (thank goodness for Underarmour).  Barring sickness and family obligations, I run regardless of the weather because the payoff for me is rich and meaningful.  That makes not running not an option.  Similarly, if other life goals do not meet my "run in the rain" criteria, I ditch it.  It' is not worth my time and energy.  Suggestion:  Get clear about what you really want, what is most important to you and build your commitments from there.  Working with a professional life coach is a great place to start.  It will be money and time well invested.   

You will focus on the process rather than the outcome.  The process is where the real gifts are! Resolutions keep you focused on the outcome while commitments keep you grounded in the process.  If you are inspired by the journey, you are much more likely to flirt with trail and error, take calculated risks and embrace your failures as well as your successes.  Living in the journey, moment by moment, can also reveal how other life endeavors are interconnected.  This can make goal attainment an enriching, transforming and enjoyable process. 

You will tap into an energy source that supersedes willpower.  Most resolutions rely on willpower to correct a bad habit, weakness or personality flaw.  By contrast, commitments call forth a bottomless supply of innate strengths, resources and gifts.  What can top that?  Making commitments will keep you operating in the bountiful realm of possibilities rather than in the limited world of circumstances. 

You will stop wondering "if" and start asking "how".  And I believe the universe will offer up a brilliant answer.  W.H. Murray's account of the 1950 Scottish Himalayan Expedition to Mt. Everest is a great reminder of how a strong sense of commitment can bring forth guidance and direction:

".... the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way."

What do you really want to be different in 2008?

What are you truly ready to stop tolerating?

What stake are you willing to put in the ground?

Here is my challenge to you: 

Boldly separate yourself from the resolution makers, the list keepers, and the wishful thinkers and make an unwavering commitment to improve your health and life in 2008. 

Here is my commitment to you: 

The Health and Life Mixing Bowl will continue to leverage your strengths, resources and gifts.  It will support you in making better, smarter choices, and will continue to inspire, empower and call forth the personal greatness that resides in all of us. 

Here's to an extraordinary 2008!

Boy Does Time Fly....

As eloquently spoken by author and motivational speaker, Willie Jolley:

I have only just a minute

Only sixty seconds in it

Forced upon me, can’t refuse it

Didn’t seek it, Didn’t choose it

But it’s up to me to use it

I must suffer if I lose it

Give account if I abuse it

Just a tiny little minute

But an eternity is in it!   

- Dr. Benjamin Mays

You may have noticed that I have a countdown clock on the right side of my blog that displays the number of days left until school is back in session.  So here is my question:  Who hacked my blog and changed the countdown clock to read 33 days??  I bet it was Justice Fergie at MamaLaw with her great sense of humor.   It was just yesterday that there were 59 days left of summer break!  Pretty frightening....

If there was ever a motivator for getting unstuck, the stark realization that time flies should be enough.  But the hustle and bustle of life is so seductive. It's easy to forget that we really don't have "all the time in the world" and tomorrow is never promised. 

So what is it you really want?

Better health?  New career?  Stronger spiritual life?  Robust relationships? Forgiveness?  Healing?  Growth? 

You fill in the blank ________________________________ 

Life is too short to live small. 

The World According to Asrat

Yesterday, I offered to take my mother to the beauty salon in the city.  My mom is 80 years old.   An extremely active octogenarian, my mother gets her hair done weekly, plays golf regularly and stays busier than I do on most days. She is such an inspiration. Yesterday was a beautiful day, so I decided to wait for my mother outside.  I stopped next door at a little cafe, grabbed some cold green tea and took a seat on the patio.  About ten minutes later, I was joined by a man named Asrat.  Asrat was from Ethiopia. He had been in the States for eight years and traveled quite extensively.  Not before long, Asrat and I began having a very interesting and organic conversation about his world travels.  Within a period of about 55 minutes, Asrat took me to Greece, Rome, Paris, Geneva, Madrid, and parts of Scotland and Ethiopia. I wasn't expecting a transcontinental experience from a 45-minute trip into the city, but it was a wonderful addition to my day.  As I was listening to Asrat, I started thinking about how cocooned I am in my home office. 

Am I that busy that I can't take a trip out of my suburban surroundings to enjoy a little urban life?

I find urban life to be much more rich and exciting anyway....

As I continued to listen to Asrat, I began to get really agitated about not fulfilling my desire to travel.  Not a good feeling.  I was immediately bombarded with a million questions. 

What values get stepped on by putting travel on hold? 

What is getting in the way of me being in Rome or Paris right now? 

What is stopping me from adding this richness to my life? 

Work?  Finances?  Children?  Time? 

So I stay locked up in my little suburban town and put off what I truly would love to do? 

Yuck!  Asrat reminded me of what I am missing.  As I sunk deep into my dissonance, I continued to listen, and realized that, too often, we find ourselves in stuck situations in order to remain comfortable.

What if we moved away from whatever was holding us back and really lived life full out? 

Where would that take us physically, spiritually, and emotionally?    

Asrat was my wake up call for moving out of my "stuckness".  He also reminded me that the world remains my oyster.  Thank you for the reminder, Asrat.   I am off to get some books on traveling Europe.  Baby steps....